Three weeks ago I was sick in bed, defeated and lifeless from a broken heart… today I celebrate on a mountain top with tears of joy. Such is the twisted but beautiful and magnificent fate delivered by the universal powers that be.
Nine months ago I had immersed myself into a relationship which I convinced myself was the final chapter of Chad’s women, the queen I’d been looking for all my life. Everything seemed to line up, we both wanted to save and empower the world, we were deeply committed to spiritual practice, starting a family and living fully in abundance. But there was one item I didn’t have on my “deal breaker” list that I’d never experienced in a relationship before and it gradually ground down our connection to a thread. That deal breaker was a “limited capacity,” and I liken it to a race car entered into the long distance Baja 5000, but it can only hold enough gas to go 2500.
I gave to the relationship everything I could possibly muster with intimacy, words, letters, flowers, fruits, dinners, massages and holding space for a person who was in recovery for some challenging issues of low self worth. My immense capacity to give turned out to be my saving grace. You see, when giving is not reciprocated and partnership is not 50 50 there is major imbalance in the give and take ratio in a relationship and as a result there will be resentment on one end and guilt on the other. Since I gave so much and my partner had a limited capacity to give, the amount of guilt they harbored drove them to the wall and quite naturally they bowed out of the relationship.
At first I was deeply depressed and hurt. I screamed and cried with rage. But when the dust settled and I regained consciousness from my love hypnosis, I realized that no matter what happened, the law of cause and effect was still in play. Something good had to come from all that giving I did and sure enough it did.
I came back from my Thanksgiving break one week after the breakup and went to my Holiday party for the yoga studio I teach at and BAM.. there she was with sparkling eyes ruminating the sweetness of life’s greatest reward…love. I had no idea what was going on, but we were inseparable from that moment on and have been so for the last three weeks. Not only were our goals and values aligned but our nature of giving was also lined up bringing a closeness that I haven’t experienced in a long long time. There is no doubt in my mind that my causes to give unconditionally above and beyond what anyone would ever expect in a previous relationship brought me this fortune only 1 week later.
I hope this inspires you to give more, whether you’re in a relationship or not as it will always come back in the most magnificent ways.
Lots of love, Chad
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